I have tried, but I have struggled with accepting organized religion my entire life. My parents are not to blame for this. They tried. They were very involved with their church and made sure we were involved too growing up. I have many good memories of time spent there.
Lately, I have made a serious attempt to find a church where I can be comfortable. My lifelong conflict with organized religion is that I have not felt a true emotional and intellectual connection that I should have felt. History has shown more evil has been inflicted on people in the name of religion than just about anything else, but that is just an empty, convenient excuse to not go to church. I have come to the realization that my self analysis of spiritual truth was just an ego trip, so I decided recently to find a church to attend regularly. Though I am, by nature, an introvert, I realize that I need others to share my spirituality and expand my spiritual horizons. After attending many different services in the area, I recently decided to join Green Valley Presbyterian Church here in Henderson.
One of the most inspiring speakers I have ever heard was the minister at the First Methodist Church in Green Bay during my youth, J. Ellsworth Kalas. His sermons were more about how to adapt the teachings of the church to your everyday struggles with life, rather than the fire and brimstone, guilt producing bible thumping so many born again religions preach. The primary reason I joined Green Valley Presbyterian was that I felt much the the same there.
We tend to be comforted by the ceremonial aspects of the church we grew up with. My wife is Catholic, so we do not share that comfort in our respective churches. I have attended many services with her, but I have never felt comfortable there. It may have been a mistake, but we exposed our children to both churches, so they could choose their own path when they were old enough to decide for themselves. Ironically, it did not work out that way. Neither attends church today, though they both seem to have a good moral and ethical compass. I could not be more proud of them, so we must have done something right. I do hope as they grow older that they expose their children to a church that works for them.
They Live in Me
A few years ago, my wife insisted I go with her to a musical at The Smith Arts Center in Las Vegas to see the Lion King.
One song struck me because, listening to it, It made me think of my deceased parents and their ancestors. I thought what a powerful influence they had been in defining who I am. The next day I went through old pictures on my computer and created a video set to the music that made me feel that way.